Music with Your Guests in Mind

In the early days of my piano career, I didn’t yet have the advantage of experience to lean on. But one thing I did have was an eagerness to learn—and as it turns out, some lessons come in the most unexpected ways.

I was a teenager when one of my good friends asked me to play piano for her wedding. I was thrilled! We sat down to plan the music together, and she began listing all her favorite songs. Everything was going smoothly until she reached the grand Recessional—one of the two most important musical moments in a wedding ceremony, right alongside the Bridal Processional.

Her choice? “Help Me Make It Through the Night.”

If you’re not familiar with this 1970 Kris Kristofferson classic, the opening lyrics go like this:
“Take the ribbon from your hair, shake it loose and let it fall… All I’m takin’ is your time, help me make it through the night.”

Now, while today’s lyrics often go much further, back then—and especially in the conservative little church where this wedding was being held—those words would have raised quite a few eyebrows!

I looked at my friend and gently said, “I’ll play all your other songs, but I can’t play that one. It just wouldn’t be appropriate for your guests.” Fortunately, she understood, and together we created a beautiful, meaningful program for her ceremony.

That moment became a turning point for me—a lesson in balancing personal expression with thoughtfulness for the audience. It’s something I’ve carried with me throughout my years of playing for weddings, churches, and special events.

So now, when I work with couples planning their ceremony music, I offer a few simple guidelines:

1. Think about what you want your ceremony to communicate.
   Is your goal to create a sacred atmosphere, a romantic celebration, or a joyful expression of love? The right music will set the tone.
2. Consider your preferred musical style—and the setting.
   Whether classical, contemporary, or a blend of both, choose music that complements the significance of the moment and feels right for the space.
3. Remember your guests.
   They’re there to celebrate with you at your invitation. Choosing music that’s beautiful, welcoming, and appropriate helps make the experience meaningful for everyone.
4. Incorporate songs that are special to you as a couple.
   Once your selections fit comfortably within the first three guidelines, find ways to include one or two personal favorites. These touches make your ceremony uniquely yours.

The bottom line? Your wedding day is a reflection of your love and the start of a new chapter—but it’s also a shared experience with the people who mean the most to you. Thoughtful music choices can make your day not only memorable for you as a couple, but also warm and unforgettable for every guest who shares in your joy.